"Mow Mow"s and Gender

At the moment, Abby LOVES cats. She calls them "mow mow"s (translation: "meow meow"). She goes into hyperventilation mode whenever she sees one, whether it be real or in a cartoon. She absolutely adores them. Not only that, she makes us draw multiple "mow mow"s a day with her crayons. In every color. I'm an expert now. Look, here's an army of "mow mow"s I drew just the other day, at her command:

The "mow mow"s make her happy -- she smiles at them, laughs, and kisses them. It's no wonder that she also loves the classic girly girl cat of all time: Hello Kitty! Nobody taught her to love the Sanrio mascot. In fact, Jaime and I originally swore to ourselves that we would not let our daughter become obsessed with such an expensive commercial product. But after receiving a couple of Hello Kitty gifts from her grandma, she was absolutely smitten with the cute "mow mow." We can't pass the Sanrio store at the mall without Abby doing one of her hyperventilation numbers, dying to kiss the hundreds of "mow mow"s on display.

This brings me to the topic of gender. What is it with girls and Hello Kitty?! Is it a learned phenomenon, modeled by others to little girls from childhood? For example, Abby receives a Hello Kitty purse (you can also substitute in this example any stereotypical "girly" item, such as princess paraphernalia, dolls, and "playing house" items). She explores the item, as any typical toddler would do, and then promptly receives praise for interacting with it ("How cute!" "Let's take a picture of you with it!" "You look so pretty with that!"). She then forms a schema in her mind that these feminine toy items are acceptable, and that she will be rewarded for playing with such items. Moreover, all of her little toddler girl friends also own the same kind of items, perpetuating this schema. Thus begins the social modeling of her gender identity formation.

Or, is Abby's love for feminine toys -- because she does love all the "typical" ones -- simply because she is innately a feminine creature? Jaime and I never intentionally taught her to adore Hello Kitty, dolls, necklaces, tea parties, purses, etc. But she is drawn to them in a way that sometimes seems to go beyond the explanation of social modeling. Is it in her God-given genetic code to be attracted to delicate, pink, girly things?

It's the classic nature versus nurture debate, unfolding in my household. I will certainly admit that Abby learns and imitates my feminine behavior. She sees me swing my purse over my shoulder countless times, so she swings her Hello Kitty purse over her shoulder. She sees me brush my hair and do my makeup; so she tries to comb her hair and put in her own hair clips (don't worry, no makeup yet!). She sees me prepare her meals and feed her; therefore, she wants to spoon-feed her stuffed animals too. Just like Mommy. It's flattering, really. But I believe it is more complicated than simple imitation and social learning. The truth is, sometimes I look at her, and I see femininity oozing out of her -- from her very core. Like she can't help but be, well, girly. It's as if she was meant to be feminine. I'm not arguing that all females are "meant" to be stereotypically feminine. Not all females should be; that would be a boring, predictable world! But my Abigail seems to be -- at least for now:

Total girl: shopping at H&M with a cell phone, purse, and rad pink leggings!

Pretty in Pink!

On the other hand, Abby is also extremely attracted to cars and balls. So perhaps that blows my "Abby is traditionally feminine" statement out the window. But cars and balls can feminine as well, right? We may just need to re-examine what "feminine" actually means... Perhaps it isn't just Hello Kitty, pink, and traditional girly stuff. I'd like to think that femininity also encompasses strength, compassion, courage, and strong will. And I'd like to think that besides hair, makeup, and purses, I can "model" these qualities as well to my daughter. In fact, it's a definite goal of mine. And in the end, Abby herself will define what it means to be feminine -- what it means to be a woman in this world, and what kind of woman God has created her to be. Perhaps femininity is different for every little girl, and for every grown-up woman. What do you think?