What's up DOC?: Week 1

So you know those babies with the weird helmets? The ones you think, "I hope my kid never has to wear one of those uncomfortable, socially awkward things!" Yeah, I have one of those kids.

First time with the DOC band. Not so sure about it!

When I was in labor, Brayden's umbilical cord was too short. Have you ever heard of such a thing? I hadn't! Anyway, he kinda got stuck and his heart rate dropped. So the doctor had to use a vacuum to help get him out. This created a "cone shape" to his head, which for most babies, goes down on its own. But not for Brayden. Long story short, it was recommended that he wear a DOC band ("dynamic orthotic cranioplasty") in order to modify his head shape. I had some doubts, knowing that there was still a chance his head shape would resolve itself as he grew. But there was a chance it wouldn't. And as Jaime convinced me, "The ladies will thank us later." So in the spirit of giving our son a normal head, we embarked on the DOC band journey!


We are getting services through Cranial Technologies, the leading provider in treating head deformities (www.cranialtech.com). We were told that he would likely wear it for about 8 weeks, which is a short amount of time for a long-term investment. And we were told it would just take a couple days for him to get used to the band. Well, it's been 1 1/2 weeks and it's already felt like FOREEEEVER! We got it on a Thursday and were concerned and confused about the design of it (not what we expected). So he wore it minimally but we didn't have him sleep in it. On Friday, we went back and got good clarification about all the engineering purposes of the band -- which we should have asked about the   day before -- but were too consumed with the hygiene and care of the band instead. But Brayden was  NOT happy and had a difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep in it. It was awful that night. I mean, who can blame him? I wouldn't want to sleep with a helmet on! Jaime ended up essentially holding him or sleeping next to him on the couch the whole night, letting me sleep to recover from a sinus infection (and mommy burnout). I just woke to nurse him. Bless his heart (Jaime's and Brayden's)... 


Furthermore, for the first two days, you are supposed to do "skin check breaks" every 3-4 hours to make sure there aren't any glaring red spots for more than one hour. If there are, you are supposed to remove the band and call Cranial Tech in the morning. Well, with our luck, there were a couple spots that remained red beyond an hour on Saturday. Jaime, in his professional physical therapist opinion, didn't think they were a big deal (because they faded to light pink) and wanted to keep Brayden in the helmet to get him used to it. I, as the rigid "rule follower," wanted to be more conservative and keep it off, like we were told. I was worried that leaving it on would lead to skin damage or something. And to be honest, I just felt for the poor little guy! He was still trying to get used to this shell on his head and having poor sleep with it on. As his momma, I wanted to prevent any kind of discomfort or harm to my son. So over the weekend (while Cranial Tech was closed and unavailable), we compromised. He had it on during the day, to get used to it. And whenever he slept, we kept it off. In general, he just seemed miserable in it. There were moments when I just wanted to RIP the thing right off, stroke his little head, and give up.


But as usual during times of hopelessness, God broke through and blessed us with some "wins." We resolved the red spots issue, and he gradually figured out how to sleep with it while lying on his tummy. But nights this last week were really tough. He was waking up every couple hours -- just like newborn days. Again, there were moments when I wanted to just rip it off so we could all sleep! However last night -- after begging God for a break -- he only woke up twice!!! This was deemed a successful night, and we're hoping for another one tonight. I know it'll all be worth it. There's already noticeable change to his head shape, after just one week!  


So our family has embraced the DOC band and even decorated it with some cute stickers -- just to brighten up the process. I'll keep you updated along the way. And after this is all done, the ladies better thank us! 

Poop, Spit-up, Snot, & Tears

I haven’t written since announcing our second pregnancy. And now, I am proud to announce the arrival of our new son, Brayden Keawe Clevenger, who is almost 3 months old!

I have a great excuse for not writing. My time, energy, and heart have been pouring into sustaining the lives and spirits of two little creatures (and one big one, if you count Jaime). People ask what it’s like balancing a newborn and a toddler. Four words sum it up: POOP, SPIT-UP, SNOT, & TEARS. Yup, that’s right. My children’s bodily fluids have taken over my life.

Here’s a glimpse into the other night:

11:30 p.m.: Brayden wakes up. I change his diaper and nurse him back to sleep.

12:30 a.m.: Abby comes to our room crying. Jaime puts her back to bed.

12:50: Abby runs to our room crying again. I put her back to bed.

1:10: Brayden wakes up again and I’m able to briefly rock him back to sleep.

2:30: Brayden wakes up and I nurse him.

4:30: Brayden wakes up. I change him and it’s an explosive poop that gets everywhere – the changing pad, his clothes, his swaddle blanket, and me. I clean everything up. Then I nurse him back to sleep.

5:00: Abby comes to our room crying again,  for who knows what reason. Jaime puts her back to bed.

7:00 a.m.: Brayden wakes up and I briefly rock him back to sleep.

7:50 a.m.: Abby wakes up for the day.

8:00 a.m.: Brayden wakes up for the day.

If that doesn’t capture the sheer exhaustion I feel, how about this little account:

Jaime is out and I’m alone with the kids, getting ready to go to a birthday party. I change Brayden into a fresh new diaper and begin nursing him. Abby – who is all set to go to the party – comes running to the room with major snot hanging from her nose.

“Mommy, I need Kleenex!”

I direct her to a box of Kleenex on a shelf that’s a bit higher than she can reach. I’m trying to talk her through it while I nurse Brayden, but she’s about to fall. I unlatch Brayden and abruptly shift him into “burp” position so I can help Abby. He promptly spits up all over my brand new sweater and himself. I sigh, help Abby with wiping her nose, and sit back down to finish nursing.

“Kleenex!” More snot. I try quickly teaching Abby how to wipe her own nose, but her 2 year-old self doesn’t hear a word I say.

I’m about to finish nursing when I hear a huge poop explosion from Brayden. Great. I just changed him before nursing. So I begin changing him into a new diaper and a new onesie (since the other one had all that spit-up), when suddenly,

“Mommy! Ugh, Ugh!” More snot from Abby. More wiping.

I finish up with Brayden, then change into a new blouse for myself. I then start ushering us all downstairs to leave, when I smell something else funny. I check Abby’s diaper. Big poop. Great.

I tell her we need to change her diaper and she screams. Tantruming. Oh, and of course, more snot.

Brayden, meanwhile, is just laying on my bed, crying. I try to block out his little screams while I change Abby.

CONFESSION: I’m irritated beyond belief during this exchange (which in real time is only like 10-15 minutes), yell at Abby in the middle of it, and then apologize to her for my anger. I then feel guilty for yelling and allowing everything (e.g. bodily fluids) to “get to me.”

I somehow wrangle them both into the car (which is a whole other long chaotic story), and make it to the party, secretly pissed that Jaime wasn’t home to help me with any of this…

~

My former supervisor warned me that taking care of two children would not be twice as much work; it would be FOUR TIMES as much work. I didn’t believe her until now. Balancing the needs and desires of two little people has been the hardest job I’ve ever done, simply because it's often impossible to please both children simultaneously. And I’m a major people pleaser, so you can see how difficult this is for me (even if the people I’m trying to please are a 2 year-old and a 3 month-old!). If everybody is awake, one person is always crying – Abby, Brayden, or even me. I’m constantly multitasking  – at times having to choose between one child’s immediate need over the other child’s (and trusting that I made the right choice). I also have absolutely no control, which I HATE! Parenting two small children solidifies that truth – just in case I didn’t get it the first time around with Abby. I obviously didn’t, since I’m complaining about it right now. It’s always been a challenge for me to accept that I am, in fact, NOT Superwoman, and parenthood is no exception. I need to accept that I will never be a perfect mother – that being “good enough” is just fine. I'm sure this will be a lifelong struggle, so bear with me...

And to be honest, my children are more than “just fine.” They are both beautiful creatures, fearfully and wonderfully made. They bring so much joy to Jaime and me, and we are honored to witness and guide their growth and development. Just take a look! Despite my groans and moans, aren’t they just fabulous?!

This one captures their different personalities right now. No need to explain =)

So please join me in welcoming Brayden into our family. His presence has certainly created new challenges for us. But like any gift God bestows upon us, Brayden is special and beloved beyond description! And as we continue to adjust to this new family, I would appreciate prayers for me as I clean up those bodily fluids at 3 in the morning... =)